I’ve gone to the Minnesota State Fair pretty much every year since I was a kid. It’s crowded. It’s hot. Everything is expensive. There are lines everywhere. And somehow I still get excited about going. This year we went twice, which has basically become the way to do it. There’s too much shit I want to eat and see to cram everything into one day without either exploding or spending the entire day standing in food lines.
The first trip started with mac and cheese on a stick from Lulu’s, which I used to get years ago when the stand was Axels just outside the Food Building.
Next was supposed to be a tropical slushie at Lulu’s, but somehow I ended up with the cherry limeade one instead. Whatever. It was very cherry, but actually pretty good.
We tried the corn ribs at the Blue Barn, which were only a couple ribs sitting on top of pork rinds, but they were really good. Good enough that I came home and made corn ribs on the Blackstone the following night.
Then a pronto pup, because it’s a requirement. Still delicious.
The Mouth Trap cheese curds were good. Then came a hazy pineapple whip beer that sounded much better than it tasted. Lindsay got the rainbow sherbet seltzer, which was fine, but neither of us finished it.
We also tried the fruit covered in a Japanese candy shell thing, which apparently made enough of an impression that I can’t remember what the hell it was called.
The pork chop on a stick was really good, as always, to the point that I bought their seasoning to bring home.
Oh! Then we were in line for apple fries and an apple cider when their system went down and suddenly they were cash only. The line had been moving fast. We were getting close. God dammit. I was disappointed to say the least.
The Amish donut line was enormous too, so those didn’t happen either.
We ended our day with Fresh French Fries. Fresh French fries are Fresh French fries. They’re always good, although they switched suppliers to another state this year. The feedback was so bad that they corrected it on day one. The potatoes were donated to food banks and the regular ones from the previous vendor were ordered and delivered within a day. Mind you this was on the tail end of the fair so I was served the regular ones. But who knew you could place a massive order for potatoes and get them almost instantly?
Seriously, hundreds of thousands of potatoes just like that? Okay.
Our second day started with a dill pickle lemonade paleta and a mini donut espresso shaker, because breakfast at the state fair has no guidelines. The pickle popsicle was probably my favorite thing of the day. It basically tasted like really good pickle juice frozen into a popsicle, which sounds questionable but was fucking delicious on a hot day. The mini donut espresso shaker was really good too.
We finally got the apple fries we missed the first time. They were okay. They were huge, and the deluxe version with whipped cream and caramel was definitely better, but I don’t know that I’d go out of my way for them again.
Then came a Scooby Slush, which is a beachy drink with way too much alcohol before 10am, followed by caramel apple iced tea and a mangonada. The mangonada was a mexican mango drink. Think sweet, salty, spicy all in one. Add an insane amount of chamoy and tajin. There you have it! A mangonada.
We finally made it to Peachy’s for one of their “amish” donuts after skipping the enormous line on the first trip. Then came Chew-nies, a dill pickle cookie and, because apparently dill was a fair theme, a dill pickle beer.
Later we had brisket quesabirria tacos, finally went back to the Apple Fries stand for the apple cider, and finished with a caramel apple seltzer.
Somehow, after two trips and that absolutely stupid amount of food, there were still things we didn’t get.
But that’s kind of what happens at the state fair. The experience is going in with this ridiculous list of things you saw online and want to try, getting distracted by something completely different, deciding a line is too long, eating something you didn’t plan on, and leaving with a list of shit you somehow still didn’t get to. And then going back.
There are things I’ve been doing there since I was a kid and things I only started paying attention to recently. I remember getting pronto pups and walking around with those stupid free yardsticks. I even won a legit sized cooler from a raffle once.
I don’t think I’d want the fair to become polished or efficient. Part of what I love about it is that it’s this enormous, chaotic collection of food stands, old buildings, animals, weird exhibits, people selling shit, traditions that have been there forever and some completely ridiculous new food everyone suddenly needs to try.
It changes every year, but it also somehow feels exactly the same.